Storms Within
by stephfarrow94
Summary: After Mammon's death, Bel turns to drugs in order to numb the pain no one thought he was capable of feeling. It isn't until his newly-found addiction takes hold of him to the point where he becomes a danger not only to himself, but the new Mist Guardian they've partnered him with. In hopes for Bel's recovery, Xanxus calls on the Vongola to help. GokuderaXBel 59B, drug use, abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The idea for this came from when I was watching the Evil Dead remake last night, but as I couldn't decide which character I wanted to use, there will be two completely different versions with different pairings in each. Both fics were founded on the same inspirational link, but the plots are completely different, just to clarify.**

**Also, with the implied Mammon X Bel, I just want to make sure everyone understands that it's merely illusions Bel 'has fun' with. Also, as Mammon's gender is never specified, I've left it ambiguous as some people prefer it one gender over the other. **

It wasn't unusual for Belphegor to go out late at night and not return for several days – the young man had a tendency to go on random killing sprees in order to satisfy his lust for blood. None of the Varia worried about his odd habit, knowing that he could take care of himself just fine.

The only problem was, that while Bel had been somewhere the others couldn't get into contact with, they had been forced to send the blond's partner, Mammon, out on a solo mission that had been meant for them both.

Things seemed to have been going well for Mammon – or, at least _had _been, as just a few days after Mammon had set out, a few Varia grunts who had been in the same area as the Arcobaleno soon reported back that their Mist Gaurdian had died.

And now, as the rest of the Varia were gathered together in a meeting as to how to discuss to Bel that Mammon was dead, no one could come up with a reasonable answer – the Arcobaleno had been the one and only person in the blond's life he cared about – _loved, _to an extent – and they were concerned that the already-unstable Storm guardian would be distraught about the news.

"Does anyone know when Bel is coming back?" Lussuria asked as he lay sprawled on the couch in the living room. "It might do to tell him when he's in a good mood."

"No one knows when the little shit comes and goes," Squalo pointed out. "He just does whatever the fuck he wants."

"That's because I am a prince."

Everyone turned to look at the doorway, finding twenty-four-year-old Belphegor watching them with a large grin on his face, his Varia uniform covered in blood, a few spots of the red liquid staining his hair and patches of his face.

"And what do you want to tell me?"

Everyone turned to look at Lussuria, immediately expecting the flamboyant man to take care of the situation – he had more of a motherly side than any of the others here; he'd do a hell of a better job than someone like _Xanxus _who would be blunt and unemotional about it.

Sighing, Lussuria knew he had no choice.

Waving his hand so that Bel would approach him, Lussuria bit his lip as he tried to think of what to say – but when it came to someone like Bel, what _could _he say?

"Luss?" Bel's grin never faltered, detached from the world around him. He lived to kill – it was as simple as that; he didn't care for anything like _emotions _or the people around him.

Mammon was the one exception to that rule; ever since his arrival at the Varia at just eight-years-old, he had always been fascinated by Mammon and, as he grew older, his fascination changed to one of innocent curiosity for sexual relations regarding the Arcobaleno. It had come as a shock for the older members to suddenly hear Bel confessing excitedly to them that he had lost his virginity to Mammon's illusions.

"…" Lussuria sighed as he reached out, ruffling shaggy blond hair in a comforting manner. His voice was gentle as he spoke, hoping that Bel wouldn't turn violent from the news; it would only serve the others unnecessary stress in trying to calm him down otherwise. "…There was… an accident…"

Bel's grin just widened, curious as to who it had been and how much blood had been spilt.

Lussuria could only feel his heart falter at that expression, knowing it would soon change when he found out about Mammon.

"…Bel… Bel, honey…" Lussuria sighed before he explained what was on all of their minds. "…Mammon… Mammon's dead, sweetie…"

Bel wasn't sure what the strange feeling in his chest was, but he did know that his frown was slipping. He felt sick, as if he were going to throw up, but the worst thing of all was the mantra of, "Mammon can't be dead…" that ran through his mind as if it were on repeat.

Lussuria waited for Bel to say something, but the blond was speechless. It wasn't until the younger male walked out of the room in dead silence did he realise that the younger Varia member had taken it worse than he had expected – Bel should have shouted, screamed, attacked someone, at least pulled a knife out into view, threatening to use it, but instead he hadn't done any of those things; he had been lifeless after the news.

"I guess… Bel really _is _capable of loving someone…" Lussuria mumbled to himself, not knowing what else to say.

The other Varia members nodded in agreement, all of them knowing that it was just a shame that the one their comrade had loved was the only one to die. It was a cruel twist of fate, even by their standards.

**~~Bel~~**

Bel was silent as he laid down on his bed in the room he had once shared with Mammon. He looked over at his bedside drawers, grabbing the photo frame that rested on them with tender hands.

The picture inside had been taken with the Varia members together, a group photo of sorts. Bel's obscured eyes didn't look at any of the others in the photo – he merely wanted to look at Mammon, who was floating next to Bel in the picture.

The young man wasn't sure why he felt so numb about the news, but he was sure of one thing – it wouldn't be the same without Mammon, and he didn't know if he could handle it; the Arcobaleno was his best friend, his lover (if the illusions the other casted just for Bel meant anything), and the one person in his entire life Bel felt safe, _happy _around.

Slipping the photo beneath his pillow for safe keeping, Bel slipped his eyes shut, nightmares of Mammon haunting his dreams.

If this was what it felt like to lose someone to death, Bel thought – no, he _knew _he wouldn't be able to handle it.


	2. Chapter 2

Bel had been cooped up in his bedroom for days since Mammon's death, and the Varia had concerns he wasn't eating – the meals Lussuria cooked him and left outside of his door were never eaten. No one had even _heard _his bedroom door open ever since he disappeared into it, and there were murmurs between some of the other members that the blond had probably killed himself.

Xanxus, who had been busy, had ordered Lussuria to go up and check on the young man. Lussuria had agreed, greatly concerned for his younger comrade.

Knocking on Bel's door, Lussuria could only hope the other would answer him _this _time. "Bel? Bel, it's Luss. We're all worried about you, Bel. May I come in?"

Again, only silence greeted the flamboyant man. This was one of the reasons the Varia thought he may have committed suicide; ever since Mammon's death, there had been no sound coming from the prince's room whatsoever, and he didn't even acknowledge his comrades when they came to knock on his door and call to him.

"Bel, I'm coming in, okay?" Lussuria grabbed the doorhandle, jiggling it. To his surprise, it was unlocked.

Preparing himself for any knives that may be thrown his way, Lussuria pushed the door open and peered into the darkness of Belphegor's room. The curtains were closed, the door to the conjoining bathroom closed, and the light was off.

The man could make out a lump on Bel's bed, but it hadn't moved since he had walked in. Had... Had their concerns been right...?

"Bel...?" Lussuria approached the bed slowly, soon close enough to see the slight rise and fall of Bel's chest. Well, that was good news; at least the blond was still breathing.

Reaching out to shake the Storm Guardian, Lussuria was greatly concerned when Bel didn't speak – didn't even _move; _normally, Bel would have moaned and protested about being touched, and even bring out his knives depending on who it was.

"Bel, we're all very worried about you," Lussuria whispered. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, he could see that Bel's face was red, almost as if he had cried himself to sleep. "Please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Again, Bel didn't move. Whether he was awake and listening, Lussuria really couldn't tell with the younger male's bangs covering his eyes.

"Bel?" Lussuria sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do; Bel just didn't _want _any help. "…I'll leave your dinner by your door again."

Bel was dead-still as Lussuria left again. Beneath his bangs, his eyes were open, but they were unseeing, his ears unhearing – hell, the messages his somatosensory cortex were sending to his brain were barely acknowledged. All he could do was think about Mammon, about how lonely he was, and how much he was hurting over the Arcobaleno's death.

The young man didn't know why he was hurting so much, why he was feeling so sad – he had never really understood what love was, but he _did _understand that he had let Mammon get much closer to him than he would anyone else.

_Mammy… _Bel felt a few more tears fall onto the pillow his head was resting on. _Mammy, I… I feel… I feel so sick… I don't… I don't understand anything… I don't know why you died, or what I'm feeling… I just feel so sick, it makes me cry… _

The blond pulled his comforter further over his head, not wanting to be seen like this. He didn't want to be seen so weak, so _pathetic. _He didn't understand love, and he had never truly comprehended death – all he knew was that he loved blood, he loved the screams and cries and pleas people made before they died; never before had he sat down and thought about death… What it would be like to lose someone he cared about to the very thing he loved most.

Did Mammon scream? Did he cry, or beg for his life? Did he bleed? What was he feeling when he died? Did it hurt?

There were so many questions running through Bel's head, and he just couldn't understand anything anymore – why was he questioning what he lived for? Why was he only just now bothered by death?

_What would it be like… for _me _to die…? _Bel closed his eyes at this thought; it had never crossed his mind before, and now that he was thinking about it, he truly wondered; what if he _died? _Would anyone miss him? Would they feel like he was right now? What if… What if he… killed himself…?

Sniffing back his tears, Bel curled into a tight ball, so very distressed but unable to stop the thoughts; he needed something to numb this sickness he was feeling – to stop it altogether.


End file.
